So I know this post may get some response from people, ranging from one end of the spectrum to the other. But, most people who have hit their mid twenties have engaged in what we know as a "hook up". It is an unconnected encounter where sexual activity occurs between two people (or even more) and that is it. No desire to get to know each other on any other level. Some experience this at a very early age, but some continue past their sophomore year of college which is a healthy place for that behavior to stop. As we mature, our need for healthy relationships becomes critical. No matter what you say, sex is personal, it is deep and every person you choose to lay down with will always have a little piece of you. So, gay men especially, if you have laid down with a large number of people, what will you have left to give that special someone when they arrive? Do you have a friend that is rude, mean, quick to judge others, and never go out of their way to do something for others? They are probably in heat, and just being reckless in the bedroom. Friends, when you see this behavior, you MUST intervene. That person's blessing probably has already come and gone and now they are sitting there, and now have to deal with the reputation of thotism and classlessness.
Have you ever met someone and they say "I just do me". Ok....so you are choosing to open yourself up to emotional turmoil with people who could care less about you. Those who pursue you will say whatever they need to get what they want. But once you fold, see how quick they change. Let me guess, you left his house walking to the metro or left to fend for yourself. If that's ok with you, I pray you gain some self worth. You ain't fooling me when you say "it is what it is". Our natural human instinct want and need personal and close connections. We are the first group of people to throw shade at the good guys. But trust me yall, they will always prevail.
Those of you who have passed this stage in life, congrats. I hope you got out safely. But understand the world you are in. If you are committed to healthy relationships, take every new person and experience for what it is. Learn from your past but don't hold that against them. Allow the good ones to be good to you. But you must reciprocate and show appreciation. The little things matter in the beginning. The random text in the middle of the night that you are thinking about them. The random selfie smile, a $3 card, or a simple "you are great" will lay the foundation of respect in their crazy dating world. Be safe yall. Be smart. Love hard.