Share this message of happiness with all.......... Happiness is something we all desire...but when you finally get it, then what? The answer is things must change. You must change. Everything will change. Priorities will shift and be realigned. Happiness comes to those who work for it. It is a reward for good work. Happiness does not come to those who wait for it. Or those who behind close doors make choices that are morally or ethically irresponsible. Karma is real....What is done in the dark, will ALWAYS come to the light. Don't fool yourself. We all deserve to be happy, whole, complete, loved, and respected. But we don't have a right to it. We control that outcome. I am extremely happy and want nothing more for others to dwell in this feeling.
When true happiness is realized, that doesn't mean struggle and rough moments will not be present. But once you get a taste of happiness, absolutely nothing else can jeopardize it. That includes close friends, family, work, or hobbies. This blog focuses on relationships so let's view it from that perspective. In order to be ready to welcome your soul mate, you need to first identify your flaws so you can be open and honest about them. Know your needs. How can you expect someone to meet your needs if you don't tell them what they are? Believe it or not, mind reading is hard. The heaviest weighted opinion is your own and listen to your gut. If you feel like something is misplaced, I guarantee it is. If you are open with yourself about this, you will instantly know when you find the one who you are suppose to be with. Some people miss that person because they aren't ready, or they are not honest with themselves about where they are in their own growth and development as a person.
Now, when you do find happiness, defend it. You now have a partner. No one else should ever be able to permeate that bond. Even in times of dissonance, you must choice "US" over "THEM". If you don't, your happiness will begin to evacuate. No matter how good you look, the foundation is cracked. An example would be that if your friends and family don't believe you are making the right choice, you must always (in public and private) defend the decision you made and your partner. Only you know why you committed and only you know the heart of the other person. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't listen or seek advice, but there is a way to do it with the message of love and commitment still there. This means that people who once meant the world to you may need to be temporarily or permanently removed from you life. The other element is "appropriateness". Although certain behaviors and elements of your daily life may seem harmless, you need to ask yourself is it appropriate for someone in a commitment relationship. Usually if you have to ask, the answer is no.
Let's move to work. Every career decision you make at this point now effects you both. Understand that and do not make knee-jerk or hasty decisions without the consult of your partner. Even if you know they will support you 100%, bring them to the decision table. Every step you take is a reflection on "the unit". Don't embarrass it. When you are up late at night and you find a crazy urge to communicate or text someone from your past, ask the question "would my boyfriend be totally ok with that?" or "would I be ok with it if he did it?". If the answer is no in any way, don't do it. You will always carry that secret with you. When we are in a state of happiness with ourselves and our relationship, risky moves are easy to avoid. But when we have moments of weakness is when we make questionable decisions. And remember, what is done in the dark will always come to the light. You will be presented with options and choices and both are beneficial, but if you do not pick the one that is best for you both, you will loose. That is the true definition of "opportunity cost". What am I giving up by making this choice? And is the risk of not making the right choice worth losing my happiness?
Let's look at hobbies. These are things you do with or without your partner that you enjoy. Some view adult entertainment, some go running, some volunteer, some use illegal drugs, some scrapbook, some cook, ect..... But your hobbies must contribute to your growth, and the growth of the relationship and pass the "appropriateness" test. These decisions may warrant a conversation with your partner but deep in your gut, you know what you need to stop and what you can continue. It requires maturity and true understanding of commitment.
Finally, we must NEVER get complacent. It is ok to get comfortable as that should be the goal. To be comfortable in your skin, in your home and in your relationship. But complacency kills you and the relationship. Growth will stop and what will happen is your partner will continue to grow and just like a rubber band, you both will be stretched thin and eventually the band/bond will break. When one is falling or appears to be dragging behind, you must pause, evaluate and support them back to their level of optimal productivity. Set realistic goals! Commit to them! Be great! Do Great! Be in Love! Show Love! One Unit! Be Committed! Model Couple! Make The Right Choice! Do the Right Thing!
